The Sales The Sales

The Gospel of Tight

Home
  1. Almir and the Creation of the Universe
  2. Godd Howard and the Holy Child
  3. Yung Lean and the story of Almir's DLC
  4. Prayer to Almir
  5. Crimefest; A holiday of Almir
  6. Gabe Noodle and the Loosest Crew
  7. The Sales; A holiday of Gaben
  8. Prophets and Branches of Tightism
  9. Grumio
  10. Ravenous Bear Cub
  11. Doctor Swifto
  12. BustANutOnTheCoach
  13. Ye Olde Buttcheeks
  14. Ryan Gosling
  15. JayPee
  16. The Final Fuckening

Every season, Non-tight come together to worship during the sales. The Sales are a seasonal holiday celebrating the seasonal sales given by Gaben. Much like Crimefest , how it celebrates blessings given by a deity. During the sales, Gaben showers us with video games, lowering the prices so that people may buy more. This money, instead of going into the Black Hole of Yung Lean, goes into the Black Whole of Gaben's stomach. As, Gaben is rather overweight, and is always hungry. The sales is an oppurtunity for him to feed on the wallets of all, tight or untight. This is how he gains his power. During the sales, Almir's DLC also falls victim. He tries as much as he can to stop the foul beast by not letting the sales take too much off, but Gaben still profits. Almir tries to make sure he makes as much money as possible, rightly so, so he can patch the black hole of Yung Lean's tightness. Gaben is the least tightest thing ever, his body is large and not compressed. Therefore he is not tight at all, in fact he is loose. Every sale he becomes more loose(less tight).